Tuesday, March 29, 2011

What Do I Say After the Loss of a Baby or Miscarriage?

I stumbled across this article and thought I would post it. It has great advice on what to say and what NOT to say to someone who is grieving the loss of a baby or miscarriage.
What Do I Say??
It's hard to know what to say to a grieving parent. Our own fear of loss can render us immobile. And sometimes people feel like they have to think of the "perfect" thing to say. There is no "perfect" thing to say. There is nothing you can say to heal the grief of losing a child. But acknowledging and supporting grief is a way to help healing. Please know that the effort of talking about the baby, the loss, and the sadness will be appreciated, even if it's not "perfect."

Some Things NOT to Say:

  • "It was God's will."
  • "It was meant to be" or "it was for the best."
  • "Your baby is in a better place now."
  • "Time heals all wounds."
  • "I know just how you feel." (Unless you have personally experienced the loss of a baby.)
  • "It's been ___ amount of time and aren't you over it yet? It's time to get on with your life."
  • "At least you have other children" or "At least you can have other children." ( I HATE THIS ONE!)
  • "Now you will have an angel in heaven."
  • "It could have been worse..." It could not have been worse. Not to the grieving parent.

1 comment:

  1. I've been meaning to comment on this ever since I saw it for the first time. Actually I did comment but then somehow it didn't go through. I am praying for you. This is such awesome information and so true for anyone wanting to know what in the world to say to someone who has lost a child/ren. I know it is intimidating for those who have never walked through such a trauma. I am glad you posted this. Love you sis!!!